A commitment ceremony is often very similar to many other kinds of
weddings. The difference is that rather than being a legally binding
ceremony, it is simply a public affirmation of a couples commitment to
one another. Generally, the couple is a lesbian, gay, or transgender
couple, and thus are unable to marry under the law.
A commitment ceremony may be religious or secular, formal and
traditional or loose and unstructured. The makeup of the ceremony will
depend on the rules of the officiant/house-of-worship and the couple's
own preferences. However, generally speaking, these are the key
elements:
# Greeting
The officiant welcomes guests to a celebration of the love and
commitment between the couple. He or she will probably also say a few
words about their relationship, or about marriage/commitment in
general.
# Vows
This is the part where the couple declares their intent to be a
committed or married couple. As in any kind of wedding, they will make
promises about what that commitment means. They may promise to love in
sickness and in health, in richness and poverty, till death do they
part. Alternatively they may write their own vows.
# Readings/Music
A religious commitment ceremony will likely incorporate hymns and
scripture readings that focus on love. (Many religious officiants will
have a standard set of music and readings that are often used at
commitment ceremonies and weddings.) A secular ceremony will usually
also include music and readings about love, including poems, passages
of literature, famous quotes, personal writing, pop songs, and classic
wedding music. It may be gay/lesbian/transgender focused or very
general, depending on the couple's personal preference.
# Exchange of Rings
The couple exchanges rings, and says a few words about what these
rings mean. It may be
* With this ring, I thee wed
* I give you this ring as an expression of my love and commitment to
you
* I'm honored to give you this ring as a symbol of the promises I've
made to you today, and a proclamation to the world of the love I have
for you.
Or anything else the couple wishes to say (working with their
officiant to craft it - some religions may have rules regarding the
ring ceremony)
# Pronouncement of Marriage
The officiant announces to the guests or congregation that the couple
is now married (joined/united/wed - whatever word you prefer to say)
and invites the couple to kiss. Some couples may not be used to
kissing in public and thus may only have a very small kiss, or forgo
this part altogether. Others will relish the moment to have the
opportunity to kiss each other in front of their loved ones,
proclaiming their love, and pride in having that love.
# Reception
Most couples will follow the ceremony with a reception of some kind.
As with all weddings, there are no rules as to what this should be -
it can be very formal and traditional, or as casual as a backyard
picnic. It may include traditional wedding elements such as the first
dance, cake cutting, and bouquet toss, or may just be an unstructured
party. Generally the invitation will give some clues as to what it
will be like (e.g. Please join us after the ceremony to toast the
happy couple or A reception at the Springfield Country Club will
immediately follow the wedding)
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